The Day the Music Died

So for about two weeks now I have been trying to get over HBSparkle. The girl I social Circle closed. I haven't written much about it, because I felt like a loser and I really didn't know what was happening. I thought she dumped me because I was too needy by visiting her at work and I have been working on my frames big time since then.

Last night I was going out with some girls I know. I had a strong feeling I would run into HBSparkle. I got a pep talk off of Stickler before heading out. I was amazing last night. My wing opened a two set that had remembered me opening them a few weeks ago. I totally didn't remember them. Then my old amog from my Angel Wings LR showed up and tried to out-game me so hard. I wasn't really interested in either of the girls, so I just stood there thinking about other stuff. The strength of my inner game drew both girls in and my amog's target ignored him and started talking to me. She even grabbed my ass, hard. It was pretty jedi.

When I went back inside, I ran into my pivot's younger sister. I was out specifically to see my pivot and the girls she was out with for a birthday party. I was on fire. I open her. I open her friend, who I have never seen before. I ran a ton of my brand new routines that I've been developing. Pretty soon I am ensconced at a table with three girls surrounding me. And then I see HBSparkle. I am trying to hard to maintain frame. I mean this is the first time I have seen her since she cut me out two weeks ago with no explanation. I have had a lot of girls in my life since her, but I was really really into her. Sigh.

So al night she sees me surrounded by cute girls. I really want to run a massive jealousy plot line. I really felt strong by the fact that she was making really mean faces at me and I wasn't the one acting super upset. She was even out with her x, who is now her current. I talk to her best friend and I'm like why is she being so mean tho? I don't mind it being over, but how about no dirty looks. Her friend is like I have no idea. She even keeps hanging out with me when HBSparkle hits a new bar.

Eventually I run into them again at the main after-hours bar, where I initially closed this girl. I am running super tight game on a smoking blond and the whole bar is watching. Honesty, my game was just on last nite. It was a combination of success breeding success and really wanting to make this girl regret ditching me. I had 3 solid number closes last night. Sound as a pound.

finally, I confront HBSparkle at the bar. I'm like look it's fine if you don't like me anymore, but let's at least be friends. I was like your friend told me that there was some overlap between me and you getting back with your x. I can keep a secret. And she just nearly explodes. She is like are you kidding? What did you say! That's not why I ended it. I was like then why did you end it? What the hell did I do? And then she tells me.

Her best friend told her that I said she had an STI. It's not even close to true. I was like what?!? I never said that. Her best friend immediately sticks to her guns and says you know what I'm talking about. What the hell? The pain in HBSparkle's eyes was a knife into my soul. I hate that a girl I was falling for like an AFC, could be so hurt. There is a knife in her soul and it's got my name on it.

I am innocent. But who is she gonna believe. I fled the bar in sadness. Which I would never normally do. My frame was simply dead. I realize looking back that the friend was always horrible. She is the one who told me the girl wasn't attracted to me and just wanted me as an FB. She told me that HBSparkle was a big slut. She fed me all the false things I believed about this girl. And when I told her that I thought it was lame that she lied to me about Sparkle, she lied to the girl about me. What kinda monster does that to her friend?

I will not soon forget the pain in that girl's eyes. I really strive to be a person who only puts positive energy into the world. The last thing I want is to put pain into a girl I adore. I could handle it if I were guilty. If I had done something to make this girl dump me. I was really over her when I thought it was just an AFC-dump. But to make her bleed so bad. It simply devastates me. I hurt all thw way to my core. Like a child I ran home and called my mom. I cried on the phone to her for an hour. I cried myself to sleep. The walls of my bedroom are painted in shades of pain. I don't want to leave my bedroom again for rear of killing what I love.

I sent a text to the girl telling her I am innocent and that I would do anything to make her pain go away. I doubt she will ever believe or forgive me for this false crime. But I have to put the truth into the universe. No amount of sarging can cure this one. The pain is real. My sadness is real. I really hope that the girl just hurts a little less when she reads my text. I have no expectations from her. I can't control her behavior. But it will take me a long time to develop the ability to be normal around her.