Back into MMA

So I have trained in martial arts on and off for 14 years now. In fact it's my anniversary either this month or next month of starting tae kwon do when I was fourteen. I move a lot so I am always starting up new styles. I hold the rank just below black in 5 martial arts. That is probably a world record. I was really nervous last night working out with two guys that are bigger than me. I have a ton of awards, titles, and belts from all over the world and yet I still think I am crap. I have a massive inner game hole in martial arts. And I have no idea why. Both guys last night were impressed with my abilities. I haven't studied striking in 5 years. In Japan I mostly studied kendo, sword fighting. But I was pleasantly surprised that I still have some moves in my brain. I think it's really good to have martial arts in my life. I can't tell you how sore I am now. I woke up this morning and my traps (the muscle above my shoulder) and my calves hurt like death. What a strange couple of pains. But it just feels really good to flex my muscles again, especially in such a relaxed environment.

I hope that all of this working out will really help me to grow. I really need to work on my inner game with fighting. I actually abhor street violence and I have created a universe where nobody ever fights. I am learning and growing constantly. The truth is on an objective level I am a very competent fighter and if I wanted to focus my life on that, I could go pro within about a year. I would just have to keep dropping weight and spend all my sarging time on advancing my mma skills. Anyways, this isn't about how amazing I am, but more about how my objective and subjective realities aren't matched. Could I take either of the guys I train with in a fight? I really have no idea. I do know that their higher confidence levels will make more of a difference than anything else. I really felt so comfortable training with them though. It is a really relaxed environment where I can give and take criticism without feelings being involved. We all just enjoy training and want to get better.

Anyways, I hope that you guys can all keep adding things to your lives that you love. And as you learned from my last post, if you start a fight with me don't bother trying to break my magic ankles. ;D