Falling Star

So I run into a guy I've basically cut out of my life tonight. He is a real gossip-monger and he can't shut his mouth, so I have distanced myself a lot even though I like him. He starts asking about the Sparkle thing, so I know that others are talking. He tells me that my house mate is my friend and that Sparkle doesn't matter. I only have like 2 minutes to chat. He tells me how Sparkle and his gf are buddies (they all met her through me). And how she never thought I liked her as more than a friend, so she was totally surprised. Now this statement tells me several things. First, that my house mate repeated my conversation with him to Sparkle and others. He repeated what I said when I said I couldn't trust him. Also that I'm in a tiny social circle and I need to get out so I can breathe. I also now know that Sparkle lies to everyone not just me. I heard a totally different story about how I was too into her from her best friend. The point here isn't about my attraction level, but more about the fact that she lies in almost every conversation. So I'm glad that it ended. It's really sad to see how blind we can all be.

I feel really bad for this girl. I pity her more than anything. I am probably the only high value guy she will ever interact with. My friend even said that she seems like she's been hurt by a lot of guys. That made me feel sad. I have empathy for her. But I also know that she's quite tactical. I mean she happens to kiss my house mate the night after we finally make peace. Unlikely.

At least I know why she sat in the corner watching me last week. She had heard by then what happened between me and my house mate. I don't like that every single thing I say, even in my bedroom, ends up in front of the world. People's total lack of discretion really annoys me. I want my relationships to be really private. I mean I get out all of my desire for publicity on here. I think that repeating my argument with my house mate to Sparkle would only serve to hurt her or make her feel bad. So whoever repeated it to her put a negative thing into the world.

I don't hate her or my house mate. I just don't trust either of them. So I have to cut them out of my life. It's the nature of the beast.