Taste the Fear

So I have been home all week on account of some surgery on Monday. Super lame. I really want to be out gaming and breaking through my AA. I mean I just went to bootcamp last week and I want to be tearing it up. I am working on a ton of projects to see which one is the most powerful. I am working my way through Hypnotica's Inner Game DVDs. So far they are wicked. I'm most of the way through the 1st one. Each exercise is so intense that I can only do about 1 a day. Today I imagined overcoming my primary obstacle and how my life could be so different. It was really powerful. I still feel some fear coursing through me, but I also feel this counter-agent in my blood now. It's like I'm a super emotional guy so my fear goes really deep. I haven't talked to a lot of other guys about this but my pulse triples when I get an AA attack. I go from 60bpm to about 180. How intense is that? Anways, I really get off on fear sometimes, like when I'm mountain climbing or snowboarding etc. In fact when I get back stateside I am going to do a tandom HALO jump. The only place in the USA where you can do it outside the military is in Memphis. I will probably shat myself, but I think it will be really powerful.
Anyways, I am also working on Magnus' tapping material. A lot of guys swear by it so I am going to get more into it. The thing is I can only rock so many strategies at a time. I think I just need to be around more guys who can really analyze my game and isolate my mistakes. But right now my main mistake is AA. I am still not opening the sets I want to, so I end up in set with low-value girls and my game gets off track. Also, I am hanging around girls that are into the indy scene too much so my actual value is lower. I need to break out of that.
I think that if I can break through my fear my game will explode in a major way. Next week I have a ton of work so I won't be worried about money anymore for a while. I think I will really try and break into the whole LSS scene and meet more of those dudes. I have this extra issue in my town that I fear that getting blown out of set will get back to my friends. It's such a stupid thing because my game in-set is really tight. I tend to get cold numbers rather than shot down in public. After my success in London and my talks with Mr M, I know my game can really explode. I just need to get over my fear so I can deal with my other sticking points. He sent me a really wicked email which I'm totally gonna focus on....