Making Notes

I have been in the scene for two months now. I have lately been drifting away from core material and the reason is that I never take notes. I have been kinda depending on my strong memory to help me, but it just hasn't worked. I need to restudy all my old material and really develop my own personal notebook of routines and strategies. It's the only way to really hone my skills. I was just re-watching some Style DVDs and I realized that all these routines I thought I had memorized, were totally different. Making notes and developing a notebook that is just for me is the best way to really learn on a deep level. I had to take notes in school and I have to take them now. I can see how it takes years to become a master, but I want to do everything I can to shorten that amount of time. I spend a lot of time listening to CDs and reading books, but if I want that to be effective I gotta really put in the grind.

Solutions Create Problems

So now that I'm going to the gym all the time, I have a ton more dirty laundry. I live in a shared house, so my laundry lives in my room until I have enough to run the washing machine. My room is starting to stink! Just a hint of a little, but I am noticing it already. I take more showers and so I bring more moisture into my room to mix with all my sweaty clothes. I am going to have to do laundry more often, but I can't do it every day. I have to think of some kind of solution. Don't really have room for a hamper or anything. I lit my rose candle, but that is really something I want to save for touchy time you know? Oh ya, and HBLanky hasn't returned any of my texts or my facebook message, although she did add me as friends. I am in a strong place now of totally not caring, which I think is a really strong frame. I wanted to see what kissing a tall girl would be like, I experienced it and got some photos with her. So I'm totally cool. When I see her out we will still totally be friends because I won't be in a place of neediness. I am growing, even if it's only baby steps.

Can you be too tall

So I went out last night with some of my buddies. I decided to throw a few back and be casual. I was at my local hanging out with a few friends and a ton of interesting things happened. First, three girls came in who wanted attention so bad. There were two chubby brunettes and a slim blonde. They were dressed to party and they went to their table in this laid back pub. And they stood around it, basically begging to be approached. None of them appealed to me, so I just studied the social dynamics of it all. No one approached them. They had spent ages getting ready and they wanted attention so bad, but they didn't realize that they were putting guys off by being so strong. I think I was the only guy in the room who really saw what was going on. Unfortunately, I feel really uncomfortable gaming in the pub. It's like my homebase and everyone there knows the old me. Too many people would be watching, it would be like gaming on stage. Eventually, I might get to that level, but for right now it's too close to my social circle. (This will soon become ironic). After 30 minutes of no attention they moved on in search of greener pastures.
Shortly after they left, this dude came in. He was scruffy and wearing a cheap t shirt. I was thinking, weird, everyone else looks nice in here....As I looked around I realized every single woman was tracking this guy. It turns out he is on Hollyoaks. A british soap opera, that I don't watch. So many girls wanted to approach him, but they were all afraid to. It was funny to see women get a taste of the approach anxiety I experience every day. Anyways, I really saw how powerful even a little fame can be. The guy was obviously pretty normal as he was there meeting a 5set that I decided not to approach the moment I saw them. None were cute enough for me. I mean I'm not the king of Japan, yet, but I am moving up the scale right now and I won't deal with a girl below HB7. That's just how it is for me. I am in a phase where I am starting to see the first hints of the Matrix, so I can really enjoy sitting back and absorbing human behavior.
After a while I convinced my mates to change locations with me. I think this is really important on a night. Especially because out pub is never very sexy. There are three blondes that hang out there a lot. One is cute. But her two friends really make her personality change there. And they are just a little too bitter for me to want to be around. One of the girls has the strongest bitch shield I have yet encountered. She is always complaining that she can't get a man. It's an amazing level of self-deception. I couldn't be less attracted to her, but one night I decided to test some routines on her just to see what would happen. She was just horrible and mean. She hated every joke. It was a very telling lesson. Anyways, I really don't bother talking to them anymore. But the one cute girl works some nights at the pub where I met HBLanky Friday night. And she seemed a little better there.
Anyways, we change locations to this other pub and I see HBLanky as soon as I get there. She is ensconced in a group of about 5 guys and locked in with her back to the wall. My friends were all like go talk to her now. And I was like, no I will wait til the right moment. There is plenty going on here. So I chilled with my friends. (I will get back to HBLanky in a moment......) So the one cute blonde from the other pub shows up and is chilling with one of my friends. This guy is really popular and super friendly. He always thinks the best of people. Translation, he has a total inability to close. It's almost amazing. I think a woman could get naked in front of him and he would just think she wants him to check for ticks. It's a little bit sad, because he has mentioned he wants some help from me in the past. So we are chatting to this blond who has made moves on him in the past. I told him how much she likes him, but he is socially retarded. He even told me that they are too good of friends for anything to happen. It's the first time I've seen a guy shove a hot girl into the friend zone. Anyways, I run my photo routine. First, I get some pics with her. Then I take some pics of the two of them. I work on amping up the attraction. I really enjoy seeing what I can get away with. I got her to take a sexy photo, then kissing, then a longggggggggg kiss....Then I told them to make is sexier and for him to put his hand on her boob. He balked before she did. Then I was like come on be slutty, you know you are. And boy did it go pete tong there. She freaked out and goes YOU THINK I'M A SLUT. I went what? Of course I don't. But she freaked out. And started crying and everything. I mean the old me would have felt really bad and guilty, but I know it is mostly she has some issue. I noticed that she was really up for it until my friend balked. Once she realized he thought it was slutty, she wasn't up for it. He created a bad frame. Right when she was on the ledge. So I feel a little bit bad, but mostly because I am gonna see this girl again. I am not sure how I will deal with it, but hopefully I won't see her for at least a week. Later on I asked my friend if there was actually tongue in one of the photos and he was like no way man!!! We are too good of friends. Sigh. I hate people who complain that they can't close with women, when really it's all their own fault. Anyways, I will repair things with this girl eventually and prolly fclose her. I have a strong feeling. Anyways, I ejected from the set right away. To make the akward period as short as possible. Let the other guys hang out with her while she cries. No one got mad at me or anything so I have social proof that agrees with my internal feeling. It was a miscalibration on my part. Mainly do to having just talked dirty to HBLanky. So let's get back to the good part of the story.
I wait for the right moment to re-open HBLanky. She remembers me and goes nuts. I created a strong impression the night before. Even though I didn't run enough of my routines, my inner game is getting stronger. I have a much stronger center of internal gravity. So we chat some, share some ciggies and chat a lot. She also introduced me to more of her friends. One of whome is at least a 9, maybe higher....I was a lil tipsy. Anyways she instroduces me to about 8 girls throughout the night, all HB6s or higher and gives me strong social proof. Now I am currently of the bird in the hand school, so I didn't try and use her to pivot to any of her friends. It's too soon for that. Plus I would really enjoy a tall girl. She mentioned her height a lot, I think these are little shit-tests which are rooted in her self-consciousness about her height. I made sure to always ignore her height comments. She also brought up her large breasts a lot. I ignored them too. I was like whatever when she tried to poke them at me. I know a shit-test when I see one (sometimes). Anyways, it was really cool we talked a lot and I got a coupla kisses on the mouth (no tongue sadly) and her number. It was pretty cool. Especially becuase all my friends saw and they knew I liked her. So good social proof....
On the way home, she was walking with me and another dude. We all live in the same direction. One of her friends was having a big fight with some other girls and so she stuck around in case things turned physical. She asked me to stick around because I am a kinda big guy. Anyways, the old me woulda been interested in a fight. But my frame was, there is less likely to be violence if I'm there. So I just leaned against a wall running James Dean and texting HBLanky. Her friend with the drama was an 18yearold, the HB9+ I mentioned earlier. So I was happy to be around. I know there is a school of thought that says to not let anyone control me, especially since some friends were calling me to come meet them right then, but I think that sometimes it's ok to do the right thing. It can't always be about amoral game can it? So eventually these girls resolved nothing after like 10 boring minutes of yelling and crying. Boring for me. I been around that block before. Anyways, the other kids ran off and then HB9+ called for a ride and walked off to meet them. She said goodnight to HBLanky and the other boy, but nothing to me. Which was fine by me becuase she didn't really know me. But HBLanky goes, say goodnight to me. So the girl did. It was cool.
So then finally the three of us start walking down towards our houses. I meet up my friends. It's my friends gf who doesn't like me to hook up for some reason and another girl I'm just not interested in at all. They are with 2 random guys. They want me to go with them across town to some apartment to get more drunk. No thanks! I don't wanna be the 5th wheel in some weird situation, let alone be trapped across town. Anyways I rejoin the other two and the girl is trying to booty call a guy in another town. But he won't pay the 7pounds cab fare. It kinda makes her look lame and me and the other guy are laughing. This is the strongest frame I could think of. Anyways, we split up near my house, but I text her when I get home for her last name, because she asked me to add her on facebook. I finally find her and later when I'm in bed we trade a few naughty texts. Basically stuff that is like almost sexual. I can't actually tell if she is interested in me. I struggled to see IOIs. We did some hand holding and I tried the squeeze test. I couldn't tell if she was squeezing back because her hand is a lot bigger than mine. Ha! Either I will close this girl, or I will develop her into a pivot. Either one is fine with me. A good result.
Oh ya and I was back at the gym today. I used the new program on my phone. I think it only keeps track of my last given workout. So I can't chart long-term progress, but I can always see what I lifted last time. I think that's really good enough. I just need to see that I'm always working harder. My weight was at 98.85kg today. I think it's that initial phase where you lose a little waterweight when you start exercising again. Anyways, I am feeling better about myself. I am going through a phase where I am more self-conscious about my body right now. Mostly becuase I am thinking I wish this girl could see how good I'm about to look. I will control that thought soon enough! Later.

The Long and the Short

Last night I'm out with a few friends on a friday night. My usual place wasn't letting people in for some reason, so I went to a nearby pub that I have been avoiding for months. I went there a few times and it was pretty lame, but last night it was heaving with sexy ladies. I was exhausted from work and time in the studio, so I really wasn't on top of my game. I just chatted to my friends a lot and peeped a few cute girls. One of my favorite pivots was out with a couple of HB5s and the old me would have definitely taken one home. I am not interested in that now. So I am downstairs getting drinks with one friend and I totally fail to open this one really tall brunette, HBLanky. I just don't say anything. It's 100% on me that one. I'll explain more at the end. Later on my friends are about to change bars, so I decide to give the bar one last run through. I am talking to one of my mates and the tall HB from before walks right up to him and hugs him and they start talking. He is super drunk and they are chatting tons, but he never brings me into the conversation. So I play it cool and start chatting to one of the HB5s when she comes past. I inject myself into the conversation with HBLanky at the right moment. We chat some and then decide to put some tunes into the jukebox. She ends up running off my mate and then the two of us pick a couple of tunes. We chat a bit more and then I eject at the right moment, leaving her available for a re-open later. I run into my mate and tell him I like her, because I want to see if he is into her or something. He gives me a look of disgust and says how can you like her? I think becuase she is so much taller than both of us. About an hour later I re-open her after spending time with some other friends who showed up and we chat some more. She told me where she works and some other basic stuff. He friend was in the middle of making up with an x who cheated on her on her birthday, so HBLanky was really upset about that. She never talked to me about that, which was cool. But between our conversations she was stressing with her other friends. She is really into American TV and we chatted about that. It was cool. I never went for the close. It just was never the right moment. She was too distracted.
I have a couple of issues that I am really trying to focus on now. The first is that I have just lost the plot with my game. I am starting to meander big time. I realize today that I never looked for IOIs or tried to really crank up attraction. I have plateaued and I don't like it. I didn't run any of my stock material or routines on her. I didn't tell any of my DHV stories and I barely kinoed her. For some reason lately, I have fallen into a rhythm that is not nearly tight enough. I really need to refocus and tighten my game. I am aware of it outside, but when I am in set my brain is just faltering. I really need to get over this hump. There was no reason for me not to close this girl last night. I mentioned the thing with her friend as an obstacle I needed to overcome, not as an excuse for my failure to close. The reason I couldn't close was because I had never really pushed myself through the attraction phases. Sigh. I need to just sit down and re-study my core method.

PS I went to the gym again today for 1-2 hours. I kind of lost track of time. I jogged about halfway there. Further than I was able to on Wed. I'm already feeling so much more vibrant. I rowed and used the elliptical machine and did some back and bicep weights. I weighed in at 99.40kg today. A small drop from earlier in the week, but I am keeping track of it all. I downloaded a program for my phone to keep track of my workouts. Hopefully I will stick with filling it out. Although I am not sure I will want to play with my phone when I am all sweaty.

Playing Catch Up

I keep being like 2 weeks behind in my blogs. So I'm gonna wrap up the last week and a half for you. I have been number closing still but not converting. I realize I really need to work on the attraction phase. Sometimes I get discouraged, but then I talk to my wing and I feel better. I have opened more girls in the last 6 weeks than I did in the last 6 months. And more and more guys are responding to my confidence. It's really good. Last week at the train station I got stopped for a "random" terrorist search by the police. I get this a lot at airports in America so I don't really mind you know? Anyways my body language was so strong in the interview and I was so confident and relaxed that he actually didn't search me. He just filled out his little form. I talked about where I'm from in America and how I understand he is just doing his job. It's amazing how this lifestyle fits in everywhere. I mean I would have acted the same before too. But now I understand.
I am really working on pushing boundaries more as well. Last nite I opened these 2 girls with are you following me? Since I saw them at two clubs in a row. I talked to them all nite at different points. And one of my smartass friends tried to blow me out by saying he's hitting on you girl! And I just said that's impossible she's not my type. She spent the rest of the night focused on that. And trying to find out why. It was actually true so there was nothing she could do. But it was interesting to see how powerful one small statement could be.
I would also like to take this time to talk about orbiters. Last night my friend who is a natural was out with his gf. She is really cute and has a serious orbiter. The guy was like being sad and even just started crying at one point. She kept rubbing his leg and being friendly. At one point he ran outside like a little girl and my friend started freaking out and getting jealous. He was like why is she flirting with him. I explained to him about orbiters and the LJBF zone. I even taught him some boyfriend destroyers and demonstrated when she came back in with her orbiter. I was like it's so awesome how this guy isn't afraid to show his feelings. Like he dresses so metal but inside he's just a normal boring guy who's full of normal emotions. Isn't it great when a girl and guy can be just friends and it is totally non-sexual? Like you're almost brother and sister and you can have deep emotions and closeness with no sexuality.....Etc. My friend loved it. But God if someone had done that to me last year i would have had a conniption ! It's cool to see how far I've gone and how just understand the basics of social dynamics puts me ahead with even my friends. I mean I totally emasculated the guy but it's better for him to get over his one-itis now. My epic lasted 30 months. So really I justify it all by saying I'm helping him! Ha!
These are the main highlights of the last two weeks. Oh. I also finally admitted that my greatest weakness with ladies is my body. So I joined a gym yesterday. I have been using money as an excuse for months now. Finally I just said f it, it's time. I weighed myself today and I have gained 3 kilos in the last 6 months. Which really isn't that bad, but I was already kinda chubby and my weight before was more lean as I was exercising a lot and running. Anyways I weigh 100.25 kilos today. I will keep posting my weight here and there as I work out since it's part of my life now you know?
I am sure that there are a lot of events that I have forgotten to mention about the last week, but really I think only one of my friends reads this blog and I know he will forgive me. I have ups and downs on the course of this project, but overall my life is better than it was 2 months ago. Everyday I feel more comfortable with myself and I think that's great. I can't even imagine how smooth I will be in a year. Later.

A trip to Poland

Last saturday when I went out with my wing and we ran into the redhead/brunette 2set our original plan was to meet up with this girl I know who wanted me to help her with a guy she likes and in exchange she was going to buy me drinks and introduce me to some HBs of her own from work. This girl is wicked tall so I will call her HBigtop. She totally blew me off that night and didn't return my texts or calls. She just didn't show up after confirming the meet at like 9pm. Anyways, that just sets the stage for a cool night.
I had plans for two weeks to meet up with my favorite pivot. This HBlond has loved me since I had a ONS with her best friend at her birthday party. This is all detailed in my first angel wings blog. I really liked her friend but she decided to not call me back or text me after our shag. Oh well. Live and learn.
So I go to meet the blond at one of my favorite venues. But the place looks like a ghost town in the old west. They should have brought in tumble weeds... I run into a guy I kinda know. A few weeks ago he pulled off my headband and scared off a 3set of cougars that had approached the both of us. Anyways, he has certainly changed his tune. He asked who I was there with and I told him the girl I was waiting for. He actually asked if it was ok if he hung out with me. I told him sure but I didn't want any of his friends to join us. I just don't want to be one guy in a huge group with 1 girl. Even if she is an HBlonde. She is very fit and loves the gym so from now on I will call her HBtrainer. She shows up and we start chilling. She isn't drinking because she is in training for a big competition. Oh well. She then tells me that Hbigtop is on the way. I was like man I'm not cool with her after the burn on saturday. I will still talk to the girl but I won't make plans with her again. When she shows up she is all apologies and explains how she got drunk and couldn't find her phone and then she felt so bad she was afraid to text to apologize. I put the grind to her to make it clear that is not ok in my universe and I send her to get me a drink. After punishing her I let it go becuase I don't need to appear needy or weak. I let her know that I went out and had a great time that night anyways. We hang out for a while and I take turns talking to each girl and locking in. The blond tells me how she is starting to hate her housemate. He is the one guy who hated on my wings so I agree with her. He thinks he is God's gift to women. That will only work so long. He is gonna be homeless soon. HA! Anyways we connect on this level as I establish that I am a nice guy looking for a soulmate who just loves women. After an hour or so she decides to just crash. She is tired and low energy so I don't complain. I am not gonna drag someone around when they are not feeling it. No point really. So I take HBigtop with me to my afterhours. We get there and it is rammed. It is full of beautiful women and AFCs. I used to hate crowded clubs and I used to count ratios. The old me would have been so disappointed. It was almost 3 men to every woman. But all the guys looked like they fell from the same photocopier. I tell my pivot to watch my back and to point out any guys she likes. Fortunately, each guy is worse than the last. Outside a pair of cuties open me by asking if I'm gay. I was in heaven. I chat to them for a while. One girl says she is psychic so I read her palm. She is really impressed by my cold reading. We chat for a while and then they tell me they are a couple. I think they thought it would break my frame. I ask how long they have been together and some other things. They were ok conversation but not as cool as some lesbians I have known in the past. The conversation ends pretty naturally and I return to my pivot who is pretty impressed. We go back inside and it is so packed that we slip to the front of the club and grab a table. The table next to us empties and to lovely HBrunettes ask if they can sit there. I tell them it is saved. Then before they walk off I allow them to sit. One girl walks off to get drinks and leaves her friend to wait. Right then HBigtop points out a bouncer that she thinks is cute. I say watch this and turn to the girl and say "my friend HBigtop likes that bouncer what should she say to him?". The girl can't understand me because English is not her first language. I persist and don't lose my frame. In the end she never understood me but I rolled right into more conversation. It was really smooth. We stayed in set for about 2 hours. It was really interesting. It was hard to game to girls who struggle with English. I failed to run my routines with much success. But I number closed both of these lovely Polish girls before they left and got up to hug-level kino with the prettier one. Afterwards I told me pivot she needs to make sure to big me up more and mention some DHV things about me. So that I don't have to do it. But it was pretty cool. I actually liked these girls and want to hang out with them again. Even if I can't fclose they are lovely pivot material. After they left all these guys came to ask me how I did it and stuff. I was like I just like to talk to people and have a cool time. I am not throwing my secrets to the dogs you know? All these guys wanted to wing with me then and I said that I was too exhausted to flirt with more girls. Some other pivots showed up by then anyways. So I just chilled. I got opened up by 2 younger girls outside. They had nice bodies but no personality. I am really focused on what Thundercat preaches about knowing what you want before you go out. So I only want to chill with hot girls that are also cool. And since I had just left a pair these two lost my interest quickly.
It was a great night and the next day both girls returned my texts. I don't know if it will go anywhere but I am pretty sure I will see them this week. My wing's birthday is Wednesday. I am going to invite all of my pivots out for this one! It is a great chance to get these girls back out I hope.
Oh. I know you're wondering, of course I took pictures with them. I run style's photo routine on every girl I meet. Great social proof!!!!

Out with the boys

I decided on Thursday to go to my local pub and just see my boys. I had a major day in the studio booked and I didn't want to be tired for it. I sometimes think I spend to much time sarging. But when I'm out all I want to do is sarge. I really don't enjoy the things I used to as much. I am changing a lot inside. I am spending more and more time with girls. I have more girl friends around me now than ever before in my life. And more and more of them are developing levels of attraction for me or wanting to wing me. It's really cool!
Anyways, I throw back just a few at my local as I'm really into staying in control these days. I end up with 3 of my friends as the place closes and we decide to hit up the after hours. I can't remember all the details of the night but we just were hanging out and having a lovely time. I chatted to a few girls but nothing really special comes to mind. I opened some sets and was having a cool time. I was hoping to run into the HBartender from the week before who was being cool to me. She wasn't working. The highlight of the night was when a sexy blond grabbed my ass and walked off. I couldn't find a good way to approach as she was ensconced between 2 girls and 3 guys in a corner when I saw her again. I wanted to go direct but that is tough to sort out in a group setting. I was going to say that she should apologize for sexually harassing me or something like that. Really jokey and strong frame. It just didn't work out. But man why complain? No girls were grabbing my ass last month. Let alone an HBlond8.5 you know? Girls can really smell confidence and I am starting to reek of it! Anyways more of my friends were really impressed and they are really respecting me more! Actually the bum grab mighta happened the night before. Sometimes these nights run together. But I am sure of the venue and the event. See how honest I am. My life is really going well now!!!